NO MORE F@#$$%%^&* CORN!!!

No more corn for this guy!

Never has the mall food court looked so good.

We both went with the burrito option, flour tortilla of course. Erin was brave enough to choose corn chips despite the fact they are made of corn! I wolfed my tube of food down too quickly and overwhelmed my shrunken belly. But oh it hurts so good.

My coworkers bought me some day old broken cookies to show me how much they loved and admired me. I could only eat one.

Erin was wiser and did not finish her food.

I am currently collecting my thoughts before posting a introspective, thought provoking epilogue.

funny story

I was in the kitchen at work and Jill was drying sweet potatoes for possum and woodchuck treats. I reflexively grabbed a couple and popped them in my mouth. As the delicious non-corn flavor poured over me I realized I had broken my vow. I quickly spit them in trash and said 12 "hail marys" and 2 "our fathers". Hopefully, I'm back on the track of rightousness.



In corn we trust,



LB



PS I'm definitely feeling light-headed this afternoon. I need to up my calorie intake to stave off Tom Hanks like delirium...

Day 2 thoughts

This morning I had my niblets with cumin and cayenne and cooked them a bit longer. This was a big improvement over yesterday's plain niblets.

I was not enthusiastic about today's lunch of two ears of corn and some popcorn. Adding Texas Pete to the corn was a big improvement. I also bought some superfine popcorn salt that is pretty good. I was going to get the flavored stuff but most of it had a lot of sugar.

So far the corn diet has not had an effect on my digestive tract. I do feel my breath is a little strange but that may be the beginning of ketosis or something else related to my restricted calorie intake. I do feel a bit lightheaded today but they may be from working in the farmyard all morning.

I think I'm going to try some polenta with a lot of garlic tonight.

I also think I'm going to buy some corn holders...

great cookout, hope you enjoyed your non-corn food

Just returned from a cookout function with Sandy's lab. There was grilled zucchini and burgers. Homemade guacamole with chips were served along with pickled artichokes. I had corn on the cob which wasn't bad but felt inadequate given the surroundings. As everyone had homemade gingerbread with whipped cream and apple cobbler with ice cream I had some more corn.

I went grits shopping on the way home and discovered all the grocery store stuff was instant grits which are hominy which has been processed excessively. Sandy will go to Whole Foods tomorrow and look for the good stuff.

Nothing to add to the corndietpoop blog yet.

Corn for lunch!

I had two ears of corn for lunch. I was still a bit hungry so I popped some corn in a paper bag in the radar range. I added some salt and red pepper flakes to make it taste like salty, hot cardboard.

To torture me, Jill ate some Orville Redenbacher microwave popcorn with delicious palm oil.

What's for breakfast?

Well I'm back from corn shopping. The good news is that corn on the cob was on special at the Kroger so I got 18 ears for 6 dollars. I also got a bag of frozen corn on sale. The weird looks I got were free. I couldn't find any plain pop corn. Some zit-faced clerk told me he didn't think they "made" it anymore. I decided to save my energy and not argue with him SINCE I'M EATING NOTHING BUT CORN FOR THE NEXT WEEK!!!!!!

A serving of corn is 2/3 of a cup according to my package (why not a full cup?). This golden helping contains 100 calories of cob-picking energy. Not surprisingly, corn has very little fat, only one gram. It has 21 grams of carbs that could be converted into ethanol and sold as wildly overrated biofuel. That serving has one gram of fiber which I suspect is contained in the husk and gives corn poop that distinctive look. Three grams of protein are modestly contributed by the maize portion. Corn has no Vitamin A so we risk rickets with this experiment. It also lacks Calcium and Iron. Therefore, I will likely be anemic and osteoporific by week's end. Corn does have Vitamin C so scurvy should be avoidable.

My last non-corn food for a while was a large bowl of awesome. Also known as, Breyer's peach ice cream.

The poop on corn

The genesis of the corn diet was a conversation that occurred in the murky past regarding the nature of poop. Namely, what would your poop look like if you ate only corn.

This person has an erudite discussion of poop so I won't write anymore here.

If you do a Google(TM) image search for "corn poop" you get stuff like this guy on the right. He is from this awesome website. You also get a lot more graphic stuff but I'm not going to appeal to the lowest common denominator in society.

I'll leave that to Erin.

I'm going corn shopping soon. I'll let you know how that goes.

Amazingly, Kristen at work just put out a container asking for people to save their corn husks from home. Maybe she is making Hopi corn dolls or the like. Needless to say, her corn crib will be overflowing by week's end.