Erin's Log Day 7: Freedom, Reflections, and Summation

Hurrah hurrah loyal readers! The Diet of Corn hath ended! Hark! The bells of freedom doth ring from atop the highest mountain. They call out, "Eat corn no more, faithful followers, for your fast of kernels hath ended at noon this day." And so it was. The two who embarked on this stoical fast rejoiced, for they were to eat of the corn no more. Larry could hardly contain his emotion, and danced in the food court for all to see, while Erin giggled disturbingly behind the camera. Let's watch:

After the dancing had ended, the two were speechless. The looked to and fro, and all around them were fanciful treats of which they had not tasted in 7 days. How were the to choose? How were they ever to choose? So accustomed were they to eating identically, they decided to each get a burrito. The Lady of the Line of the Palace of the Burrito appeared to be under the "I-don't-give-a-shit" spell, a spell that is all to common in the Court of Food, cast by the great wizard The Man, so Larry's burrito took much longer to make than Erin's, and Erin waited at the table with her co-workers and greedily eyed her food, restless for his return. When Larry finally returned, unsuccessful at breaking the spell of the Lady of the Line, they awkwardly toasted burritos and ate of the meal so coveted for a week. (Sitting in between our burrito toasters is M-Jo, the originator of the idea)

Diet of Corn Summation:

Pounds lost: 3
Corn eaten: Shit ton
Tired of Corn: Very
Corny poop: Very
Respect gained: Endless

What did happen:

• Corny poop
• Weariness of corn
• Awesome conversation topic for parties gained
  
• Brief, but resolved cornstipation
• Hilarity ensued

What did not happen:

• We did not starve
• We did not develop an allergy to corn (other than wanting to vomit when I think of it)
• We were not terribly malnourished
• We (I) was not unreasonably weak by week's end (Larry looked slightly pale)
• We might have not irreparably damaged our digestive tract
• We (I) was not quite gassy

Thank you for following our humble corn diet. It brought a tear to our eye to know so many were watching and hoping in our ability to abstain from non-corn foods. We hope that we did you proud. I have written a corn song to commemorate our fast-break from corn, so stay tuned.

Until the next corn, I bid you adieu.

Erin's Log Day 5: Cornstipation

Hello, dear readers! The 5th day of the Diet of Corn is rapidly receding and bringing us ever closer to the prized penultimate day of corn-exclusive dieting! I am so excited for this to almost be over! All day tomorrow I can boast that simply a day and a morn separates us from food variety. How awesome!

However, today I feel both a unique feeling and a very familiar feeling, and it is stronger than both anticipation and even temptation, but rhymes equally. It is cornstipation. In the past my intestines have been very sensitive, even say the word "grease" and they would shrivel up like a prune (they don't much like those either). But switching to an all fruit/vegetable/grain/chocolate diet has helped considerably, and I haven't had an episode since. Apparently too much of a good thing is a bad thing (though corn right now IS a bad thing) and my intestines can't make up their mind. All I know is that they will be happy to be off this diet as well, though I am a little bit worried about how they will react to the very sudden diet change. Maybe we should ease into it slowly.

In other news, I hope we go out for Mexican food on Thursday! I can almost taste those greasy chips and guacamole!

Until the morrow, I bid you adieu. Only one and half more days!

Erin's Log Day 4: Corn is so Yum!

We are well into Day 4 of the Diet of Corn, and almost to our goal of Thursday. We have decided to ceremoniously end our Diet of Corn by going out with our co-workers to our weekly Thursday lunch outing and making them pay for our non-corn lunch . It will be an extravaganza of food variety. Though, currently the restaurant on our pre-made list of restaurants (this is due to our inability to all agree where we are going in a timely manner) is a place where the only thing I can eat on their menu, would probably be corn (this is due to my veganism). So, that might need to be amended slightly.

Since we are over half-way through our week of corn, I will share with you some of my thoughts and observations at this point in our journey.

Observation #1: I do not feel any weaker/less lively/lethargic in any way. This could be due to the fact that I have been drinking plenty of juice and water and making sure to eat corn whenever I am hungry.

Observation #2: Right now the only corn products I can bring myself to eat are frozen corn with spices, and popcorn. That's it. Canned corn, that freeze dried stuff, and corn on the cob make me want to vomit even thinking about them. For realz. It's strange. So I've been alternating between frozen corn and popcorn to much success.

Observation #3: A tip to benefit those who desire to follow in our footsteps: only eat when you are really hungry. For me this has helped corn not get really tiring. I wait until corn actually sounds really appetizing, and then I eat.

Thought #1: I can't wait until Thursday!! I am going to make myself a huge batch of cookies, eat some guacamole, and some uber delicious movie theater popcorn (which surprisingly and disturbingly is vegan) at the midnight showing of the new Batman movie, which will taste so good compared to cardboard popcorn. This, honestly, is what is keeping me going: knowing HOW AWESOME food will taste on Thursday.

Thought #2: It is sooooooo surreal/gross/just plain weird to have your co-workers comment on your poop. Just so you know.

Observation #4: My real success in this endeavor has been my corn brother Larry. He has been strong when I have been tempted to be weak. I only continued on with the struggle by thinking of him saying, "Nay" to homemade guacamole and gingerbread at his barbecue and his meager lunch of corn on the cob for successive work days. I could not bear to let that all be in vain. I will not let you down, Brother! *sniffle*

That's all I have for right now. I have to run to the store today to grab some more frozen corn, as the two honkin' bags I got that were buy-one-get-one-free have been rapidly consumed. Who knew that you go through corn so fast when that's all you eat?!?!1?! It comforts me ever still to know that when I'm pouring the last of my bag of frozen corn into a bowl at breakfast, lunch, 2pm, 4pm, dinner, and 10pm, that more corn is only a 5 minute drive away.

Sweet corn dreams.

Erin's Log Day 3: Everyone Has Fun With Corn!

Day 3 is off to a good start. Things are getting easier. I am now thinking about how lovely eating will be on Friday, and I know the taste of food will get better and better, so that is my new motivation.

In other news, everyone has fun with the Diet of Corn! I was taking a corn-induced nap and I wake up and start walking towards the bathroom, and my big brother says excitedly, "Are you going poop?" To this I replied, "No! I'm peeing! Settle down!" In addition to it being the current favorite topic of discussion for others everywhere I go, every time I'm cooking something my dad goes, "What are you making?" or "What are you having for breakfast/lunch/dinner?" and I always reply as if he actually didn't know already, as if it were an actual mystery: "Oh, I'm just heating myself up some corn." or "I'm kind of in the mood for corn!" or "I think I'm gonna eat some corn!" Also, every time there is discussion of food around me and what should be had for a meal, I always generously pitch in that I have a bit of extra corn back at the house, if they are interested, or that corn really goes well with fajitas/burritos/chicken/cheese sandwiches with mayonnaise.

Corn on!

Erin's Log Day 2: Confession

Day 2 of the Diet of Corn is well underway, and I have a confession: I am tired of eating corn. However, a personal breakthrough has been made when, inspired by Larry's paper bag popcorn, I made some myself. I have found this to be quite satisfactory. In a separate bowl I put a little bit of water and mixed it with garlic salt and then put it in the paper bag after the popcorn was popped and mixed it all around. The result is a few pieces of garlicy salty popcorn that are a bit soggy (which takes away the staleness!) and the rest tasting oh so delicious. I am glad that I have found this, because as of last night the thought of eating corn made me want to puke. So perhaps I will subsist off of popcorn for awhile until that goes away, or I'm hungry enough to find it appetizing.

I will carry on. I will not let the Diet of Corn down.

I also have nothing to add to the corndietpoop blog as of yet.

Erin's Log Day 1: Corn Shopping, etc.

I have returned from corn shopping. I took my little sister with me to Earth Fare and while I perused the corn on the cob selection (10 cobs for $1.60--take THAT Larry!) she chanted the word "corn" for the entire shopping trip. I also picked up some yellow corn grits (ingredients: ground corn), an on sale can of corn, and this ridiculously expensive container of organic freeze dried corn. My plan is to use the grits and freeze dried corn to make my corn patties, and maybe a soup. We'll see how that goes.

When I returned home, I looked up "Corn" in the Joy of Cooking and got some good ideas. They had directions for oven roasted corn that I tried out. I made a sauce of lemon juice, garlic salt, and a bit of oregano and brushed it on the cobs, wrapped them in tin foil, and cooked them in the oven at 450 degrees for 8 minutes, turning every so often. It was pretty good, I would cook it for longer next time. The lemon juice really added that *something* that butter (or "butter" as it would be in my case) usually fills.

So far, so good!