Erin's Log Day 7: Freedom, Reflections, and Summation

Hurrah hurrah loyal readers! The Diet of Corn hath ended! Hark! The bells of freedom doth ring from atop the highest mountain. They call out, "Eat corn no more, faithful followers, for your fast of kernels hath ended at noon this day." And so it was. The two who embarked on this stoical fast rejoiced, for they were to eat of the corn no more. Larry could hardly contain his emotion, and danced in the food court for all to see, while Erin giggled disturbingly behind the camera. Let's watch:

After the dancing had ended, the two were speechless. The looked to and fro, and all around them were fanciful treats of which they had not tasted in 7 days. How were the to choose? How were they ever to choose? So accustomed were they to eating identically, they decided to each get a burrito. The Lady of the Line of the Palace of the Burrito appeared to be under the "I-don't-give-a-shit" spell, a spell that is all to common in the Court of Food, cast by the great wizard The Man, so Larry's burrito took much longer to make than Erin's, and Erin waited at the table with her co-workers and greedily eyed her food, restless for his return. When Larry finally returned, unsuccessful at breaking the spell of the Lady of the Line, they awkwardly toasted burritos and ate of the meal so coveted for a week. (Sitting in between our burrito toasters is M-Jo, the originator of the idea)

Diet of Corn Summation:

Pounds lost: 3
Corn eaten: Shit ton
Tired of Corn: Very
Corny poop: Very
Respect gained: Endless

What did happen:

• Corny poop
• Weariness of corn
• Awesome conversation topic for parties gained
  
• Brief, but resolved cornstipation
• Hilarity ensued

What did not happen:

• We did not starve
• We did not develop an allergy to corn (other than wanting to vomit when I think of it)
• We were not terribly malnourished
• We (I) was not unreasonably weak by week's end (Larry looked slightly pale)
• We might have not irreparably damaged our digestive tract
• We (I) was not quite gassy

Thank you for following our humble corn diet. It brought a tear to our eye to know so many were watching and hoping in our ability to abstain from non-corn foods. We hope that we did you proud. I have written a corn song to commemorate our fast-break from corn, so stay tuned.

Until the next corn, I bid you adieu.

Erin's Log Day 5: Cornstipation

Hello, dear readers! The 5th day of the Diet of Corn is rapidly receding and bringing us ever closer to the prized penultimate day of corn-exclusive dieting! I am so excited for this to almost be over! All day tomorrow I can boast that simply a day and a morn separates us from food variety. How awesome!

However, today I feel both a unique feeling and a very familiar feeling, and it is stronger than both anticipation and even temptation, but rhymes equally. It is cornstipation. In the past my intestines have been very sensitive, even say the word "grease" and they would shrivel up like a prune (they don't much like those either). But switching to an all fruit/vegetable/grain/chocolate diet has helped considerably, and I haven't had an episode since. Apparently too much of a good thing is a bad thing (though corn right now IS a bad thing) and my intestines can't make up their mind. All I know is that they will be happy to be off this diet as well, though I am a little bit worried about how they will react to the very sudden diet change. Maybe we should ease into it slowly.

In other news, I hope we go out for Mexican food on Thursday! I can almost taste those greasy chips and guacamole!

Until the morrow, I bid you adieu. Only one and half more days!

Erin's Log Day 2: Confession

Day 2 of the Diet of Corn is well underway, and I have a confession: I am tired of eating corn. However, a personal breakthrough has been made when, inspired by Larry's paper bag popcorn, I made some myself. I have found this to be quite satisfactory. In a separate bowl I put a little bit of water and mixed it with garlic salt and then put it in the paper bag after the popcorn was popped and mixed it all around. The result is a few pieces of garlicy salty popcorn that are a bit soggy (which takes away the staleness!) and the rest tasting oh so delicious. I am glad that I have found this, because as of last night the thought of eating corn made me want to puke. So perhaps I will subsist off of popcorn for awhile until that goes away, or I'm hungry enough to find it appetizing.

I will carry on. I will not let the Diet of Corn down.

I also have nothing to add to the corndietpoop blog as of yet.